You had me at hello

That night on Class 95, they played Secret Garden from the Jerry MaGuire OST. You know, the one with inserts from the movie. Since then the song has been on repeat mode in my iTunes. That really pushes the sentimental button in my brain and I thought of how much of a Jerry I am. Liking Dorothy, or in my case, Rafe, and not really knowing if I really really like him. Like being in an emotional limbo. I don't know if it is coz I am commitment-phobic or that I just can't make up my mind anymore. You know when Dorothy told her sister Laurel, "I love him. I do! I love him I love him and I don't care what you think. I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man he almost is. I love him Laurel, I love him. I love him." I am both touched, and envious and jealous all at the same time. Dorothy knew how exactly she felt, why exactly she felt that way, and dared to express it all out. Yea sure, that is reel life. Just like in real life, I can get quite cynical if someone says that to me. Happy for her, yea. But cynical. How long is it going to last ? Does she know that she is now very vulnerable to hurt ? I'm talking about some serious emotional hurt that could very easily paralyze you if you are not careful. With some heart wrenching pain thrown in for a good measure. Like how I had felt when some fcuk did some serious shit to me and left me to die by the pavement. Physically and emotionally. But that is another story.

Nothing is simple when you involve another human being. So love isn't simple. Daring to whole-heartedly love and be committed isn't simple. Not puppy kinda love, not crush, not love merely for companionship. But to love him(her) for him. You know, to "love him for the man he wants to be and ... the man he almost is".

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Yea you know when I have had an overdose of sappy love songs.